I just did this but not digital. Our life is fairly simple so I bought a notebook and wrote everything down for my husband in case I go first. A page for each bill, account #, how it is paid and if there is an online account with password. Medical info, passwords, where important papers are kept, banking. Credit card info too. We have one daughter and figured this would be easier. We're in our 80’s and should have done this sooner.
Yup, me too. Typed it all on spreadsheet document and printed it out. Also a list of important phone numbers. Where to find important documents in our house (a fireproof box in the closet). And a bunch of other stuff. I'm making a master binder "In Case of Death or Medical Emergency, Open Binder", and copies for my eldest child and my husband's eldest child. Wills, Powers of Attorney. Advance Directives. Transfer of Deed Upon Death. Prepaid cremation. We're in our 70's. Both of our moms had Alzheimer's. You just never know what could happen.
I worry about that, and plan to ask my adult kids (who are in their late 40's and early 50's) to find a secure place for their binders, like in a closet. Mine is going in a fireproof bag that I can "grab and go" in an emergency if I'm home, as we live in a fire prone part of the country. Maybe I will get similar bags for them. Some people suggested keeping the documents encrypted online and sharing them that way, but I don't have the technical skills for that.
And the attorney who wrote up the legal documents (wills, powers of attorney, advance Directives, transfer of deed) has copies in his office. So there's that.
We are in our 80’s so this book will not be around that long. Also we live in Fl and know how to take care of personal paperwork. But thank you for your concern.
When my father passed we found the issue with this was that he wrote down the passwords for my mother, but when he would sit watching TV at night and looked at those accounts he couldn't remember the passwords and created new ones which he never wrote down. It was a nightmare trying to get into all of his accounts!
Which is why I never use two factor if it's optional (KISS...keep it simple, stupid. That's my motto.) Fortunately, most all of my important accounts don't have it, plus I included phones numbers for many them in the notebooks. And I plan to update the information annually.
BUT, dang, I just got a new computer and had to use two factor identification to get the new computer recognized on some key sites like Amazon and my bank, and my cell phone service provider. Which means that my kids will, too. Ugh 😩. Having phone numbers and code words will be key. And they need their ID notarized in addition to my approval to access my bank account if I'm in a coma or laid up in a body cast, even though they have power of attorney.
And, as my father did, leave detailed instructions about the weekly/monthly/annual maintenance tasks that you do, including things as simple as " turn off the water valve in the basement before changing the filter in the kitchen".
All the information for the death certificates because my son would not know my mom’s maiden name, etc. Many states provide the application online so that you can prep a sample copy. I did.
Copies of my last tax returns and the advice to have a CPA prepare my final return
Mock up of my obituary and where to publish it. My husband’s will be published in three cities. Mine in one city.
The advice not to cancel my phone until he has set up two factor authentication on his phone (or turned off 2FA) on all my accounts
How to sell our vehicles using an Affidavit of Heirship in our state since there will be no probate.
Finally, I prepared the deed from our revocable trust to him as beneficiary so that he can simply go to the Register of Deeds and transfer the house to his name.
Mom's maiden name? Holy cow, I did not know that was needed. I do know that if my husband dies, I have to tell them that he's a Veteran. There's a place on the Death Certificate for that, and if that box isn't checked I don't get spousal survivor benefits. Now I better have his mom's maiden name written down so I don't forget it in the moment, when I would probably have trouble remembering my own name! Thank you!
A few years ago, I wrote an email to our (only) daughter, copied to my wife. It was entitled "Where the money is".
I also bought a large 3-hour fireproof safe and bolted it to the floor of the garage (following the instructions for waterproofing). All of out important papers are in there.
The letter details every financial account we have and describes every financial contact (at banks and other organizations, advisors, etc).
There is a "combination hint" affixed to the outside of the safe (in French - we're from Montreal originally). The hint describes how to derive the combination from my in-laws home phone number. They died 10 years ago, but we all still have their number in our phones.
I update the "where the money is" email whenever there is a significant change (I check it when I finish the taxes each year). A current copy is always in the safe.
And, as my father did, leave detailed instructions about the weekly/monthly/annual maintenance tasks that you do, including things as simple as " turn off the water valve in the basement before changing the filter in the kitchen".
I tend to be a back-up with paper person after having my phone totally die. I could've been on a poster with panic written in all caps under my picture. As anyone that's had that happen, it's a gigantic task to reassemble the phone numbers and emails. All my texts were gone plus a few voice mails I kept to hear the voices of deceased friends. I have written down everything that I can't get back if/when another crash happens. It's all in that 3 ring binder that hold all pertinent info. My spouse and kids know to look for the binder for papers they may need.
There is so much information you need to provide your next of kin. This is just one piece in a large puzzle. But with so many things handled online (not waiting for paper in the mail anymore like when my dad died in 2010), this is so much more important than in the past.
I have a safety deposit box, costs $130 a year. I brought my executor to the bank, made her an authorized user on the signature card. The key to the box is in my house but having the key is not enough, you have to show ID at the bank and only the two of us can get into it. All the important passwords are in a physical document in the safety deposit box. No “caregivers”, no burglars, no scam artists can access the document. It isn’t on my computer. If the box is opened the bank has a record of who showed ID and signed. Old school solution.
The second key holder is also my executor (who knows the safety deposit box exists, at which Bank, and the box number).
The contents of the safety deposit box are part of my Estate. The probate court provides a letter of authorization for my executor to bring to the bank to have access.
I swear my husband and I just had this discussion two days ago! Being in our late 70’s this is so pertinent to our talk you must have been listening in😉
Is there any risk in ‘having all your eggs in one basket’? Photos, iCloud etc with Apple, and then also passwords with them also? Would it be better to have passwords in a separate location such as 1Password for example?
Hi. Thank you so much for sharing this important information. My husband died unexpectedly in April and you described exactly what I have dealt with and am continuing to deal with. I plan to do what you have recommended so my children do not face the same situation. Thank you!!
I’m sorry to hear that. It is a devastating experience. Dealing with all the banking and bills and hitting the roadblocks described in the article is terrible.
I literally had a sheet of butcher paper on the wall in our home office where I wrote the bills and which accounts they were paid from, as I saw them come across email. Kept me sane initially and calmed my worries about missing something.
I can't imagine. Thankfully I have not had to overcome those kinds of roadblocks, and I am very grateful. But now I think differently about how my family/executor will handle things when I die (hopefully a longtime hence, but we never know; and it WILL one day happen, unless the Lord returns first). Planning these things for the benefit of others is not pleasant and is necessary and a gift to them.
This is a useful distinction between legal ownership and operational access. The one-page map may be the most underrated layer: it tells the family what exists without turning a printed document into a password leak. I would add a scheduled review—after a bank change, new policy, phone replacement or at least annually—because a stale access plan can fail at exactly the moment it is needed.
I just did this but not digital. Our life is fairly simple so I bought a notebook and wrote everything down for my husband in case I go first. A page for each bill, account #, how it is paid and if there is an online account with password. Medical info, passwords, where important papers are kept, banking. Credit card info too. We have one daughter and figured this would be easier. We're in our 80’s and should have done this sooner.
Yup, me too. Typed it all on spreadsheet document and printed it out. Also a list of important phone numbers. Where to find important documents in our house (a fireproof box in the closet). And a bunch of other stuff. I'm making a master binder "In Case of Death or Medical Emergency, Open Binder", and copies for my eldest child and my husband's eldest child. Wills, Powers of Attorney. Advance Directives. Transfer of Deed Upon Death. Prepaid cremation. We're in our 70's. Both of our moms had Alzheimer's. You just never know what could happen.
Not a good idea. Paper can fade, get wet and not readable, get misplaced or in wrong hands etc
I worry about that, and plan to ask my adult kids (who are in their late 40's and early 50's) to find a secure place for their binders, like in a closet. Mine is going in a fireproof bag that I can "grab and go" in an emergency if I'm home, as we live in a fire prone part of the country. Maybe I will get similar bags for them. Some people suggested keeping the documents encrypted online and sharing them that way, but I don't have the technical skills for that.
And the attorney who wrote up the legal documents (wills, powers of attorney, advance Directives, transfer of deed) has copies in his office. So there's that.
We are in our 80’s so this book will not be around that long. Also we live in Fl and know how to take care of personal paperwork. But thank you for your concern.
Or burn
When my father passed we found the issue with this was that he wrote down the passwords for my mother, but when he would sit watching TV at night and looked at those accounts he couldn't remember the passwords and created new ones which he never wrote down. It was a nightmare trying to get into all of his accounts!
The real problem is not passwords – it’s two factor authentication. If a person’s phone is not available, survivors are out of luck.
Which is why I never use two factor if it's optional (KISS...keep it simple, stupid. That's my motto.) Fortunately, most all of my important accounts don't have it, plus I included phones numbers for many them in the notebooks. And I plan to update the information annually.
BUT, dang, I just got a new computer and had to use two factor identification to get the new computer recognized on some key sites like Amazon and my bank, and my cell phone service provider. Which means that my kids will, too. Ugh 😩. Having phone numbers and code words will be key. And they need their ID notarized in addition to my approval to access my bank account if I'm in a coma or laid up in a body cast, even though they have power of attorney.
And, as my father did, leave detailed instructions about the weekly/monthly/annual maintenance tasks that you do, including things as simple as " turn off the water valve in the basement before changing the filter in the kitchen".
Ryan and Team, this is valuable information. Thank you all for your consistently sharing value.
Appreciate you, Fatima.
I included:
All the information for the death certificates because my son would not know my mom’s maiden name, etc. Many states provide the application online so that you can prep a sample copy. I did.
Copies of my last tax returns and the advice to have a CPA prepare my final return
Mock up of my obituary and where to publish it. My husband’s will be published in three cities. Mine in one city.
The advice not to cancel my phone until he has set up two factor authentication on his phone (or turned off 2FA) on all my accounts
How to sell our vehicles using an Affidavit of Heirship in our state since there will be no probate.
Finally, I prepared the deed from our revocable trust to him as beneficiary so that he can simply go to the Register of Deeds and transfer the house to his name.
Great suggestions, thank you!!!
Mom's maiden name? Holy cow, I did not know that was needed. I do know that if my husband dies, I have to tell them that he's a Veteran. There's a place on the Death Certificate for that, and if that box isn't checked I don't get spousal survivor benefits. Now I better have his mom's maiden name written down so I don't forget it in the moment, when I would probably have trouble remembering my own name! Thank you!
Mom's maiden name, city/state where he was born, both parents' names.
A few years ago, I wrote an email to our (only) daughter, copied to my wife. It was entitled "Where the money is".
I also bought a large 3-hour fireproof safe and bolted it to the floor of the garage (following the instructions for waterproofing). All of out important papers are in there.
The letter details every financial account we have and describes every financial contact (at banks and other organizations, advisors, etc).
There is a "combination hint" affixed to the outside of the safe (in French - we're from Montreal originally). The hint describes how to derive the combination from my in-laws home phone number. They died 10 years ago, but we all still have their number in our phones.
I update the "where the money is" email whenever there is a significant change (I check it when I finish the taxes each year). A current copy is always in the safe.
And, as my father did, leave detailed instructions about the weekly/monthly/annual maintenance tasks that you do, including things as simple as " turn off the water valve in the basement before changing the filter in the kitchen".
Anything like this exist for Android?
Yes. But I don't have first hand experience doing it. Wish I was more help on this, JJ.
how about a f one spouse has an iPhone and the other has an Android? 😫
Non-native applications are the solution. Something like 1Password could be the answer.
Was just coming here to ask this! 😂
I tend to be a back-up with paper person after having my phone totally die. I could've been on a poster with panic written in all caps under my picture. As anyone that's had that happen, it's a gigantic task to reassemble the phone numbers and emails. All my texts were gone plus a few voice mails I kept to hear the voices of deceased friends. I have written down everything that I can't get back if/when another crash happens. It's all in that 3 ring binder that hold all pertinent info. My spouse and kids know to look for the binder for papers they may need.
EVERYTHING should be in the cloud! Don’t rely on hardware, which will always fail or be replaced.
Reformed Microsoft user, converted to Apple and love it.
Thank you for this useful information. We have Apple devices but weren’t aware of the tools you wrote about.
There is so much information you need to provide your next of kin. This is just one piece in a large puzzle. But with so many things handled online (not waiting for paper in the mail anymore like when my dad died in 2010), this is so much more important than in the past.
I’m putting this in my to-do app right now.
👏
Hey Ryan, does Android have an equivalent? Thanks
Hey Chris, there is a version of this for Android users. Candidly I don't have any experience with it.
Android relies entirely on Google's ecosystem via the Inactive Account Manager.
That should be a good starting point.
I have a safety deposit box, costs $130 a year. I brought my executor to the bank, made her an authorized user on the signature card. The key to the box is in my house but having the key is not enough, you have to show ID at the bank and only the two of us can get into it. All the important passwords are in a physical document in the safety deposit box. No “caregivers”, no burglars, no scam artists can access the document. It isn’t on my computer. If the box is opened the bank has a record of who showed ID and signed. Old school solution.
You may want to check with your bank if they are aware of a death of one of the owners of the box they may disallow access!
The second key holder is also my executor (who knows the safety deposit box exists, at which Bank, and the box number).
The contents of the safety deposit box are part of my Estate. The probate court provides a letter of authorization for my executor to bring to the bank to have access.
I swear my husband and I just had this discussion two days ago! Being in our late 70’s this is so pertinent to our talk you must have been listening in😉
I can’t thank you enough!
Is there any risk in ‘having all your eggs in one basket’? Photos, iCloud etc with Apple, and then also passwords with them also? Would it be better to have passwords in a separate location such as 1Password for example?
A lot of people I know use 1Password. This is my own process for simplicity and natively built into the Apple ecosystem.
My personal take is either one could work.
Have a system you're comfortable with.
Exactly. Have a system, preferably a well-documented one... ELI5 worthy...
Hi. Thank you so much for sharing this important information. My husband died unexpectedly in April and you described exactly what I have dealt with and am continuing to deal with. I plan to do what you have recommended so my children do not face the same situation. Thank you!!
I'm very sorry to hear about your husband. Mine died suddenly and unexpectedly last year.
I’m sorry to hear that. It is a devastating experience. Dealing with all the banking and bills and hitting the roadblocks described in the article is terrible.
I literally had a sheet of butcher paper on the wall in our home office where I wrote the bills and which accounts they were paid from, as I saw them come across email. Kept me sane initially and calmed my worries about missing something.
It does get better. ❤️🩹
I can't imagine. Thankfully I have not had to overcome those kinds of roadblocks, and I am very grateful. But now I think differently about how my family/executor will handle things when I die (hopefully a longtime hence, but we never know; and it WILL one day happen, unless the Lord returns first). Planning these things for the benefit of others is not pleasant and is necessary and a gift to them.
This is a useful distinction between legal ownership and operational access. The one-page map may be the most underrated layer: it tells the family what exists without turning a printed document into a password leak. I would add a scheduled review—after a bank change, new policy, phone replacement or at least annually—because a stale access plan can fail at exactly the moment it is needed.