Your Parents Raised Four Kids on $90K. Here’s Why You Can’t.
The middle class didn’t vanish - the math changed. Here’s what it really costs to live on one income today.
A friend asked me recently:
“How much would I need to earn for my spouse to stay home with our kids?”
It’s one of the most common questions I get.
And in 2025? The answer surprises almost everyone.
Because what used to work - doesn’t anymore.
Today’s version of the “comfortable middle class” looks very different than the one many of us grew up with.
In today’s newsletter, we’ll break down:
The real numbers behind a one-income household
Why the math has changed so dramatically
How to test the decision before committing
The emotional ROI that never shows up on a spreadsheet
Let’s dig in ↓
The Math Doesn’t Lie — It’s Just Changed
I grew up in a middle-class home. Five kids. One income.
My dad made around ~$90,000 in the early 2000s, and we were fine. We didn’t go out to eat. Vacation meant driving to my grandparents in Orlando. We lived simply — but comfortably.
Here’s the reality most people don’t realize: That same $90,000 back then has the purchasing power of about $160,000 today.
So when families tell me, “My parents raised four kids on $100K,” I get it. But that number doesn’t buy what it used to.
Inflation didn’t just raise prices — it redefined what “middle class” means.
Why It Costs So Much More Now
There are three main culprits driving the one-income squeeze:
1. Childcare costs exploded.
In most metro areas, full-time childcare for two young kids runs $2,500–$3,500/month. That’s a second mortgage. If one parent stays home, that’s $30K–$40K of “savings” - but it comes at the cost of a full salary.
2. Housing doubled — or worse.
Average mortgage payments now hover between $2,500–$3,000/month. Rent isn’t far behind. Rates, insurance, and property taxes have all piled on.
3. Lifestyle creep is everywhere.
Our parents didn’t have 15 subscriptions, smartphones for every family member, or kids’ sports that cost thousands per season. Modern life has more “fixed costs” disguised as convenience.
So when you hear that a one-income family needs $130,000–$180,000+ to live comfortably, it’s not financial failure - it’s math.
What “Comfortable” Actually Looks Like
Here’s a realistic one-income family budget I see often for 1–2 kids:
Mortgage/Rent: $2,500–$3,000
Groceries: $1,000–$1,200
Healthcare: $300–$1,200
Utilities/Internet: $300-500
Car payments: $500–$1,000
Insurance: $200
Kid expenses: $500
Miscellaneous: $1,000
That’s $7,500–$9,000/month just to live reasonably and keep stress low.
To cover that and save for the future, you need roughly $10,000/month after taxes.
That means a $150K–$165K gross income in most states.
That’s not luxury. That’s breathing room — the ability to save, handle curveballs, and not live on edge.
The Real Questions You Should Ask
Before you run the math, run these through your mind:
Do you value time at home more than a second income?
Are you prioritizing short-term comfort or long-term flexibility?
Does one partner want to stay home — or feel obligated to?
How will this decision impact your stress, marriage, and future goals?
Because this isn’t just a financial choice. It’s an identity choice.
A one-income household can work beautifully when it’s intentional.
But when it’s emotional or reactionary, it can create resentment fast.
Test It Before You Commit
You don’t need to guess if this will work - you can simulate it.
Here’s how I walk clients through it:
1. Test it for 3 months.
Live off one income while both of you are still working. Bank the rest. You’ll instantly see the pressure points.
2. Build a 6-month emergency fund.
One income means less margin for error. Cash reserves are your safety net.
3. Eliminate unnecessary debt.
Car loans, credit cards, or personal loans eat away at optionality.
The lower your fixed costs, the higher your freedom.
4. Understand your healthcare coverage.
If coverage shifts to one employer or to private insurance, model those costs before you make the leap.
5. Align expectations.
This one matters more than math. Both partners have to agree on what “comfortable” means - and what tradeoffs are worth it.
The Hidden ROI: Time, Presence, and Peace
People look at this decision purely in dollars. But that’s not the real ROI.
What’s the return on peace of mind? On being there for school drop-offs, practices, and milestones? On living at a sustainable pace instead of constantly rushing?
You can’t calculate that in Excel - but you feel it in your body and your home.
Still, I’ve seen both sides. I’ve seen families thrive when one parent steps back - and I’ve seen others struggle because they didn’t plan deeply enough.
The difference is never income. It’s intentionality.
The Bottom Line
Here’s the truth: A one-income household in 2025 can absolutely work.
But you need to be realistic about what it costs to maintain a calm, secure life - not a survival one.
That usually means:
~$150,000+ gross household income
~$8,000/month lifestyle
6+ months of cash reserves
Shared clarity on goals and expectations
Can you do it on less? Sure. Plenty of families do. But fewer do it comfortably - because most people today don’t live below their means like their parents did.
This decision isn’t about money. It’s about design.
Designing a life that prioritizes what you value most - whether that’s time, flexibility, or stability.
Just make sure you run the numbers before you run the risk. Because the goal isn’t to survive on one income. It’s to thrive on purpose.
See you next week.
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